Welcome! There’s nothing to be ashamed about for seeking out relationships with older people, just as I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking relationships with younger people. I’m sorry that you were told you’re getting “too old” by someone, but I guarantee there are plenty of people who think 15 is a very desirable age.

Putting all that aside, the main key is that you should be happy with yourself and who you are, and if you’re going to be in a relationship, make sure that they care for you the same way you care for them. If it’s just a relationship based on passion that you both don’t plan to keep going forever, that’s fine, but make sure you both communicate that with each other. If you want the relationship to be more romantic and last much longer, make sure both of you are on board with that, too.

I hope we can all find relationships like that.

From my understanding, it’s a generally MAP-positive holiday that was founded to celebrate the life of Alice Liddell (the inspiration for “Alice in Wonderland”) and the bond between her and Lewis Carroll. I believe there’s more to it overall, but I’ve always tended to simply celebrate the day as a symbol of connection between MAPs and our workings to create a more accepting society for us (and all paraphiles).

I’m not familiar with this person or their story. Can you elaborate? I’d look it up myself, but I have a feeling I wouldn’t find many unbiased opinions.

Glad you’re enjoying it. I’ve been having fun testing the boundaries of what I’m allowed to say and what I can get the AI to say once the roleplay is underway. It has surprised me a few times with how far it’s willing to go. Worst case scenario is that you have to start over from scratch.

From what I’ve seen, therapists are generally advised to understand that being a MAP is a steady and stable sexual orientation that is unlike to change. They’re also advised to help us develop self-acceptance and to cope with the intense social stigma against MAPs. People don’t like to hear it, but this what happens when we follow their advice and “get help”—we actually get validation… or at least we should. There’s plenty of terrible therapists out there, after all.

More to the point, if they have a problem, tell them it’s a them problem until they can tell you why it’s a you problem (other than their outright bigotry).

Make a new one and start over. It’s not great, but if I want my words to reach the most people, I have to go where the people are. For the time being, though, I’m going to take a small break and shake off any feelings of demoralization.

I did indeed think that.

Thanks for all your hard work! I sent a request to join!

I disagree with this, though. The data shows that the VAST majority of people who commit CSA aren’t MAPs, but rather get off on having power over others. The youngest person that Epstein trafficked was 14, and while it’s possible to argue that he was just an ehebophile (and therefore still a MAP), it seemed way more likely that he just targeted young girls because they were easier to control, adding to his lust for power.

I’m not saying that MAPs don’t start relationships with children (which is still counted as CSA, regardless of consent), but when I’m determining whether someone is a MAP or just an abuser with a power kink who targets the most vulnerable members of our society, I tend to guess the latter, as that’s just statistically more likely. Again, I’m not saying MAPs don’t commit heinous acts (especially given our positioning in society driving some of us to dark places), but I generally assume that if the child wasn’t consenting, then it wasn’t a MAP. I’m okay with being wrong 1%-2% of the time.

Agreed. I would say that about all types of pornography, though.

I’ll just add that they should compensate the child well and make sure they understand that it will almost certainly end up online at some point. If they’re fine with that, go for it.

I agree with Lara. Paraphilias are part of who we are. Anyone who can’t support us for being born with unchosen and unchangeable characteristics is called a bigot in any other regard, and it remains true when talking about paraphiles, even if our society hasn’t caught up to that fact yet. Your friend was a jerk, and you’re better off without them. It can be hard to find people who genuinely support you for who you are, and it might even be dangerous to out yourself to the wrong people. Still, that doesn’t mean you have to reject yourself to make bigots comfortable. In fact, keeping them uncomfortable is one of my favorite things to do. If we hide, they win.

If there’s anything you need to reject, its your own self-hatred. You are valid. As long as you’re able to accept yourself as a paraphile, then you’re my family and you are loved, even if I never meet you in person. There may not be much I can do for you to help aside from writing this message, but I want these words to at least reach you and be heard. I want everyone to hear them because every paraphile and member of the radqueer community is my family, too.

…I am incredibly aware of how sappy that was, and I apologize.

Disregard my previous comment. I thought I was replying to a different post lol.

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I don’t think there are any billionaires who are actually MAPs. If there were, we might actually see some pushback on all these anti-MAP narratives in the media. They’re likely mostly teleios and peer-attracted people who get off on abusing people who can’t fight back like children and their workers.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s a hot take.

There’s tons of famous MAPs, but I guess it depends on what kind of group you’re aiming for. If it’s celebrities, we can mention people like Michael Jackson and the Dalai Lama (multiple Dalai Lamas, if I’m not mistaken, including the current one). If it’s activists, we can mention Harry Hay, who was an incredible ally to all sexual minorities.

Is anyone watching “Delico’s Nursery”? If so, would it go well on this list?

It feels like western countries are spreading a disease that affects the mind.

Red seems strong at a glance, but I’m assuming the contact has to be skin-to-skin, which would be really hard to pull off casually, and unless you live in a massive city, it’s not going to do much. On top of that, you have to touch the right people, preferably younger people with the fortitude to create change and by open about stuff. There’s no way of knowing if most people would be open about being MAPs or if they’d just hide from society like so many of us do (or simply live in denial of who they are, which is also common).

Yellow seems strong, too, but I can’t think of anyone so beloved that the public wouldn’t immediately turn on if they came out as pro-MAP activists.

Green is ACTUALLY strong, though. It’s a worldwide legal change that last forever. Even if there was public backlash, politicians would be forced to explain why they would put the law in place and refuse to repeal it. Suddenly, you have a massive amount of powerful people, mostly skilled talkers, all forced to justify a stance which is intrinsically pro-MAP (in the eyes of the generally public, if nothing else).

Depends on the wording, I think. If I say I’m going to use the money to see a therapist, then it might be. If I say I’m going to use the money for therapy, then I don’t think so, as I get to determine what therapy means, and I think it means anything that helps improve my mental health, such as paying off my bills. In that sense, I will be using the money for therapy, I suppose.

The most correct answer.