Hi!! I’m having a lot of trouble because since it’s pride month, I’ve been browsing the aroace tags on tumblr. But there’s a LOT of discourse and a lot of aros who aren’t romance repulsed seem to be shoved out… and it makes me feel like I’m not aroace enough? Because I love Alastor and my partner sys… Because I’m in a romantic relationship…
I feel really, really bad… And I don’t really know what to do… Would it be bad for me to take TransAroace (or even just transaro) to cope with feeling inadequate for the community?
I’ve been on the verge of tears because of this all day.
It’s ok to be transID for any reason. Also Tumblr doesn’t have the final say on what’s and what’s not aroace. If you feel cis-aroace, that’s valid. If you feel trans-aroace, that’s valid. I’m cis-aroace(specifically aegosexual and aegoromantic), and I say you can still do romantic stuff and still be aromatic(my fiancé and me does this). There’s a difference attraction and doing. You can feel no attraction and still do something, which is what many aroace do(myself included).
It’s just hard for me because I see a lot of exclusion towards more romance and love inclined aros. It makes me feel invalidated and like I’m not aro/aroace enough because it seems like the black and white “if you’re aro/aroace, you’re loveless. If you’re not loveless, you’re not aro/aroace” and it keeps pushing me away from the community… There’s so much romance bashing, at least that I see of…
Like no hate to loveless aros/aroaces at all, I should say!! It just feels like they’re the only ones that get attention and everyone else gets pushed out. We should be there for our Aro/Aroace sibs, you know? Regardless of if they like romance or not. But it’s so hard to find aros/aroaces like me…
If any of this makes sense.
Note: Using both aro and aroace because it’s in both communities a lot, aroace a little less so, but still a lot in both communities.
That’s understandable. If it helps, you’re not alone and there are other aro and aroace like us outside.