Hello, I go by Oaks, my chrono age is 22, my internal age is fluid from 5 to 45 but I’m usually between 6 and 12. I have some questions relating to being an AAM/AAP and MAPness.

So, uh, I’m a little nervous cuz this is the first time i found a space where I dared to ask these questions, I’m also not natively English, so please forgive any mistakes. I put the NSFW tag on as I’ll mention trauma. I also edited this a bunch for structural and such reasons.

I think my AAM identity came only after I was sexually assaulted (which did result in trauma), does that in any way change things about it, like what term I’m supposed to use?

I only really confirmed it when I met my partner. At 16 I met my partner, who was 24 at the time. He didn’t know my age, as I tend not to talk about it and I have always looked way older than I am so he didn’t ask. It only came up when we were already in a relationship. Does that make him a MAP?

Some friends of mine have called him a pedo and said he’s abusing me but I don’t feel that way. I have to defend him all the time when people find out. One even said she would never believe me he’s not abusive because AAM is “a term only pedos and groomers use”. Even when I told her it’s the term I found to describe me. He hasn’t caused me trauma, he always worries about consent, he doesn’t even want to dom me unless I really ask him to. He’s a gentle giant and a sweetheart. He never groomed me, there was no need. I loved and still and will forever love him. How do I make people understand I was capable and willing to consent? After I was assaulted, I knew what it meant to have intercourse and what I didn’t want. It only felt natural to go find out what I did want. I’ve had partners of my own age who were more abusive than he ever was.

How old do you have to be to be considered a MAP? When did you know? Did you feel scared about the truth of your attraction? Or like you should change who you are even though you know you can’t?

Oh! And I need some writing advice. I’m writing a book with an AAM as the main character, based on my own love story with my partner (but it is in a fantasy setting and only a B plot), would MAPs hesitate to engage or would you kinda jump on the opportunity or does that depend? Also, let me know if y’all want updates!

Thanks for reading and feel free to also ask me questions!

  • Pinkpawn
    1·
    2 days ago

    If he didn’t know your age at first, I think it’s probably OK and he’s not necessarily taking advantage of your age and relative naivete. I think in general that young women need to have their wits about them when dealing with men under 30, so my advice is to be honest with yourself if you spot red flags with this guy.

    But if you’re now 22, he’s not necessarily a pedo. If he’s into your ageplay and young identity, and he treats you fine, it sounds like you should try to keep him around

    I have been a MAP since I was a teen but I didn’t really know or accept it and I only learned that term recently (I’m 40). I’m certainly not exclusively MAP. I actually think everyone is MAP and that’s why we have laws about interacting with minors

    As for your story, I would hesitate to engage fully. It would depend on all kinds of things. However, being able to communicate mutual desire would be great and help me enjoy whatever time I get to spend with that person.

    I was recently in a situation where I couldn’t communicate my mutual interest and it pained me. I think it would have been beneficial for the girl to receive honest feedback and affection but it was not possible for many reasons. An overall dangerous situation for me