For me, it feels like being stripped of my autonomy when I have to obey a demand that I didn’t consent to or ask for. I’ve heard someone describe it as being told to purposefully stub your toe, which is pretty accurate.
It’s a bit hard for me to figure out where exactly my PDA begins and my general rebelliousness ends, because in general I’m not a rule follower. Especially things like social and gender norms. I always say that any rules I do follow happens to just coincidentally align with my personal morals.
With PDA though, I meet it also in very mundane and harmless areas of life. For example, one time I was overheating at the doctor’s office, and my aunt suggested I splash some water on my face, and I was about to until she began instructing me how to do it. I suddenly couldn’t do it anymore and I walked away from the sink, despite desperately needing it. I know she was just trying to help me, but I was already planning to do the exact thing she told me to do, which really mentally clashes.
PDA can affect anything that you personally perceive as a demand, but not everyone with PDA perceives the same things as demands. For example, I’ve heard someone describe that when someone starts talking to them it feels like a demand to talk back. I personally don’t see it like that. I see it more like an invitation, and I still have the power to decide whether or not I want to talk to that person, so when I do, it’s my own choice. Both perspective are valid, I just wanted to display some possible variation in the manifestation of PDA.
I don’t know much about how it works, scientifically.
Well, in my case it’s just painful to do anything someone asks me to. Even if it’s a thing I’m initially enthusiastic about, as soon as other people and some kind of pressure is involved I no longer wish to participate or do anything, it no longer feels voluntary and I feel extremely frustrated and I need to go through series of mental breakdowns to even do a smallest thing in that direction. It affects me to the point where I had problems with the law in the past, anything that was forced upon me felt like slavery and my only instinct was to avoid it or refuse and break free.
How do you live with it? Is there any way to cope with it rather than just surviving? Honestly I hear about PDA for the first time and as I read about it I feel called out
How does it feel like exactly and how does it work? I think I do have it too, but I’m not certainly sure
For me, it feels like being stripped of my autonomy when I have to obey a demand that I didn’t consent to or ask for. I’ve heard someone describe it as being told to purposefully stub your toe, which is pretty accurate.
It’s a bit hard for me to figure out where exactly my PDA begins and my general rebelliousness ends, because in general I’m not a rule follower. Especially things like social and gender norms. I always say that any rules I do follow happens to just coincidentally align with my personal morals.
With PDA though, I meet it also in very mundane and harmless areas of life. For example, one time I was overheating at the doctor’s office, and my aunt suggested I splash some water on my face, and I was about to until she began instructing me how to do it. I suddenly couldn’t do it anymore and I walked away from the sink, despite desperately needing it. I know she was just trying to help me, but I was already planning to do the exact thing she told me to do, which really mentally clashes.
PDA can affect anything that you personally perceive as a demand, but not everyone with PDA perceives the same things as demands. For example, I’ve heard someone describe that when someone starts talking to them it feels like a demand to talk back. I personally don’t see it like that. I see it more like an invitation, and I still have the power to decide whether or not I want to talk to that person, so when I do, it’s my own choice. Both perspective are valid, I just wanted to display some possible variation in the manifestation of PDA.
I don’t know much about how it works, scientifically.
Well, in my case it’s just painful to do anything someone asks me to. Even if it’s a thing I’m initially enthusiastic about, as soon as other people and some kind of pressure is involved I no longer wish to participate or do anything, it no longer feels voluntary and I feel extremely frustrated and I need to go through series of mental breakdowns to even do a smallest thing in that direction. It affects me to the point where I had problems with the law in the past, anything that was forced upon me felt like slavery and my only instinct was to avoid it or refuse and break free.
That sounds like PDA.
How do you live with it? Is there any way to cope with it rather than just surviving? Honestly I hear about PDA for the first time and as I read about it I feel called out
Unfortunately, I don’t know :(
We are in this together then, thanks for teaching me new things about myself, that means a lot to me
You’re very welcome! :)