The journey of discovering my Orientation has been hectic and unprecedented.
Discovered Components;
- Queerness
- Aromanticism and Romance-Repulsion
- Paraphilia
- Abnormal Sexuality
- Neurosexuality - in particular plurality, trauma, and schizospectrum affect sexuality
- Aesthetic Attraction
- Invidious Attraction
- Relationship Anarchy
- Non-Monogamy
- Aplatonicism and Neuroplatonicism - in particular autism and trauma affect friendship capabilities
- Afamiliality
What all of that concludes to is that my sexual attraction is non-linear. Due to trauma I am detached from my body, and developed internally plural instead. I feel no strong connection to my body or reality, therefor no desire to engage in sexual acts through it. My way of experiencing and exploring sexuality happens internally, in what I call Mindscape. The reason I reject Asexual labels is because my internal experience feels more real and authentic than my external experience. I do consider the possibility that I might be in an Asexual body with low libido. In disorienting juxtaposition, internally I am extremely hypersexual.
When it comes to making friendships, I do have interest hypothetically, but don’t posess much social battery, basically no prior attraction, and an extremely long grace period before I develop a deep connection. With potential friendship contenders, I prefer to remain in a limbo of being friendly strangers until I am comfortable upgrading our connection.
When it comes to any potential future relationships, I do have interest hypothetically. I do not know what this would look like physically, but I do know that I would require the aforementioned friendship upgrade first. My primary love language is quality time, I am not a very affectionate or loving being. I seek mental, spiritual, and creative stimulation, as well as compatible humour, values, interests, and life style.
This is super interesting. Infodumping about orientations is always so fun to do and to read <3
Thank you!!