I… I caught a little pokemon, Batman

Hot Tub DINK Machine

He gave them fish, they’re always thankful for that.

TEEEEEEEEEELLL ME WHY

I have a buddy who’s literally learning how to play bass via Rocksmith, it’s the only game he plays on the PS4 that he bought specifically for that purpose.

I cry every time I watch the Get Back sessions

You sound like an imposter

Can I come?

Can I come?

Where is “here”? Because there’s plenty of meth in my location (I don’t do meth, I’m just aware of it).

You can deconstruct the joke as you like.

I can explain.

Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith, has sex with other men behind his back. She has been public about this on her own talk show.

You hit me in the cup

Whenever you’re in trouble, just yelp for help!

That just makes it go stale faster

Run over children in his 2001 Honda Civic, he did.

That’s unironically going to be my next character

The real question: is he gonna use his fridge for xnxx

Oh dang, I’ve been using it for the wrong reasons

Dave Grohl is one of my hall passes, along with Ryan Reynolds, Anne Hathaway, and Zooey Deschanel.