That is specifically not part of orientation, or else your orientation would change because you have erectile dysfunction.
I feel like arousal is part of orientation, or at least, an individual’s sexuality. If I want to get turned on by men but can only get turned on by women, doesn’t that say something about my orientation or sexuality?
It is not generally wrong to want that for yourself, no. However, it is, generally speaking, incorrect.
My desire to reduce attraction is incorrect? Can you explain what you mean? Is it factually incorrect? Morally incorrect?
You cannot change what you want, only deny it. It does often change by itself, but it’s almost never a thing you consciously control without self-harm.
I’m not sure what you are referring to as “what you want”. If it’s referring to our mental desires or behavior - I somewhat disagree. I have had certain preferences reduce or increase over time as a result of my own behaviors. I felt no physical or mental harm from this. Granted, it was not a complete change, but a tilting of the scale.
Reducing one’s sexuality is specifically pretty much the worst thing you can try to do to yourself. In practical terms, it is conversion therapy. Don’t do that!
But you are okay with expanding it? That can also be conversion therapy. In one case, someone wants to have no attraction because society tells them that’s morally correct, while another person wants to be attracted to something because society tells them that’s morally correct.
The problem with conversion therapy IMO is that it is often forced onto an individual who doesn’t want it, the individual is choosing it because of societal or religious doctrines, stigma, phobia, and most methods involve traumatic aversion therapy and medications that end up causing physical and emotional harm. I do think as technology and science advances, we’ll find safer and better ways to allow people to transition in any and all facets they want.
“Okay with gays but I don’t want to be one” is the oldest trick in internalized homophobia’s book[…]telling yourself it’s just another aspect of your self-authorship is a cope
With that logic, FtM are sexist because they’re not okay with being female, which is the oldest trick in the TERF’s book. Same goes for transracial and racism. Discomfort towards engaging in (or identifying as) something yourself doesn’t mean that you hate people who participate in that, neither does it mean you think it’s “wrong”. I don’t like camping, but I don’t hate people who go camping or think it’s wrong.
All of the reasons a person might want to get rid of their attractions are actually reasons they should be engaging in the spicy fantasy play
Some people do not even want to bother with fantasy play, because they’d rather do other things with their time.
Sorry it has taken me a long time to respond but I was dealing with the hurricane and looking back, I felt like we were misunderstanding each other in this conversation. The way I am understanding sexual orientation is different from your definition. For me, transitioning would mean putting my physiology in concordance with what my mind desires. So not really changing what my mind wants in any way. Not that I think that is necessarily bad, as people can be of different minds.
I do want to clear up some things you mentioned in the last reply, but I don’t want to come off as hostile. In my case, my transorientation would not make me more “Christian-passing”. I am straight to gay and allo to demi(?best descriptor I know of) because I want to be aroused only by my partners, and we have trauma regarding heterosexuality. I DON’T think being straight is wrong, it’s simply uncomfortable for me to deal with straight sexual content as it triggers memories of my abuse. I also have additive transorientation regarding wanting to be aroused by certain kinks (farts, scat, vore).
I still disagree that harm is inevitably done by reducing desires on purpose. Some desires can be objectively dangerous. It doesn’t even have to be in the realm of sexual desire. Some people find it hard to leave abusers because they love them even though they beat them. If I were attracted to people who were abusing me, I might want to stop feeling attracted to them so that I can leave the situation.
People have conflicting feelings about what they want all the time, and deciding which desires are more important to you is something everyone does.
I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that internalized phobia is not always the reason for wanting to transition. There can also be other reasons, such as trauma, which I don’t think should be condemned but people should always introspect about why they want certain things.
Again, respectfully I disagree. Transracial people sometimes use medications and undergo surgical procedures. Transabled and transsevere people can use pills and other medical treatments.
I don’t want to think about it at all because it is an intrusive thought, not a desire. I want to get rid of my intrusive thoughts to be in concordance with what I actually desire.