“Yes, I’d like the traditional tiered birthday cake with the bride and groom on top. Thanks.”

“How much are your birthday rose petal cannons?”

I’m hungry too, can you send me some?

Oh thank god. Everyone has been just sitting here waiting until Jake said it’s okay to end it.

Like when your mum walks in and sees you masturbating to a blank MS word document.

Like when your boss walks in and sees staring at a generic spreadsheet with an Xbox controller in your hand.

I’ve always remembered it like this:

Greenland is icy, Iceland is green.

All hail Greencanadaland.

Ah yes, the brownringed squarker.