1

I have experienced plenty of ‘iffy’ situations when I was chronologically considered a child. Mom’s boyfriends ogling me, being affectionate, asking to see me naked. It’s possible that I have been touched in my sleep, but I will never be able to find out. I hate that I can’t call myself a CSA victim, because technically nothing happened, that I’m aware of. In a way, I wish something DID happen, so I could at least find some solace in that. But I’m left being a victim who is not even a victim.

2

I honestly totally get the nuance to cisharm. I am a Nexus of vessels who exist in my inner world, Mindscape. It’s filled with abusers, rapists, murderers, bigots, etc. who gloat and don’t want to get better. It’s equally filled with danger-seeking victims who get aroused from being harmed and exploited, like eb and flow. This is how I explore my paraphilias. I don’t see it as fiction, I see it as strong part of my identity. So in a way I could be discribed as cisharm.