1

I have experienced plenty of ‘iffy’ situations when I was chronologically considered a child. Mom’s boyfriends ogling me, being affectionate, asking to see me naked. It’s possible that I have been touched in my sleep, but I will never be able to find out. I hate that I can’t call myself a CSA victim, because technically nothing happened, that I’m aware of. In a way, I wish something DID happen, so I could at least find some solace in that. But I’m left being a victim who is not even a victim.

2

I honestly totally get the nuance to cisharm. I am a Nexus of vessels who exist in my inner world, Mindscape. It’s filled with abusers, rapists, murderers, bigots, etc. who gloat and don’t want to get better. It’s equally filled with danger-seeking victims who get aroused from being harmed and exploited, like eb and flow. This is how I explore my paraphilias. I don’t see it as fiction, I see it as strong part of my identity. So in a way I could be discribed as cisharm.

  • Lara Croft (Real)English
    2·
    4 months ago

    I hate that I can’t call myself a CSA victim

    I’d say that whether you are or aren’t a victim is for you to say, if you feel like you have been sexually assaulted in any way that’s all that matters and you deserve to be heard 💗

    Is this the original post? I see it’s on Post Of The Week but I don’t see a link to the original post

    OH I just saw the original, it didn’t show up before

  • unicornsEnglish
    1·
    13 days ago

    But I’m left being a victim who is not even a victim.

    Very real phenomenon. You are not alone. This is what accepting of transtrauma and transability are so important. But in some contexts where people may not accept or understand those terms, you can “lie” (or maybe you can’t some people are incapable due to disability apparently but like by “can” I mean it’s morally okay).

    I think the idea of dishonesty is very nuanced and ideas of honesty and integrity are used to keep disempowered people down. Language is structured in a way where there is a simple known word for people who can remember being sexually assaulted as children. But for everyone else with similar experienced, they are compelled to expend more energy explaining their trauma. It’s unfair.