Not strictly nsfw(education purpose)

CW: sexual abuse

A few months ago I got abused by some who were very close to me. We were hanging out in my room and bam! - I was in a sexual situation. I didn’t consent.

I didn’t like it but I also didn’t say “stop” or something. I just couldn’t move. I am sure I am not the only Person who experienced abuse in this way. And I am also sure that we all got to a point were we asked ourselves why we didn’t do anything and if it’s our foult.

To answer the question already: No, it’s not our foult. But let me explain why.

At first we have to look at our instincs. All human bodies have them like everyone else. One part of these instincs are “fight”, “flight” or “freeze” which get active in stressfull situations.

Fight: Fight back the

Flight: Running away

Freeze: Wel…you freeze

In the situation I explained before my body/brain choose to freeze. I wasn’t able to talk, move and think. It’s something which happens and we can’t controll it. It’s a natural reaction, made to protect our self. But in some situations they just don’t fit.

“I could have said no” No, you couldn’t because you were freezing.

To say it once more: No, it’s not your foult.

And to make clear something else: When you can’t move, when you are unable to do anything the other person is responsible to stop the action.

Read more about “fight”, “flight” and “freeze”: https://www.mindlead-institut.com/fight-or-flight-die-biologische-stressreaktion/

Got sexual abused?: https://www.rainn.org/after-sexual-assault