Ramblings of a mad man /lh

I both think I’m the worst and the best, but everyone is still equal, and I am also equal to everyone, and I somehow believe all 3 of those things wholeheartedly. I’m not sure if I am humble. I think I kind of lost that ability since discovering my truth and my worth. I would consider myself to be bold and proud now. I no longer let people walk over me and have gotten much more direct with my communication. I think that I am able to claim my place, while leaving room for others. Still there is a desire to be guiding, mentoring, perhaps in a more passive way. Whenever people expect too much of me, I crumble. I want to be known and unknown at the same time, like a familiar illusion or an elusive pathfinder. Realistically, you couldn’t really depend on me. I need too much alone time, I’m too emotionally unavailable, I can’t make decisions for others.