I was in denial about being a MAP until rather recently, maybe a month ago or so. Before then I would consume lolicon content but I told myself that I wasn’t attracted to irl kids. This was not true at all, but I managed to stay in denial about it for years.

For most of my life I always made a conscious effort to avert my eyes whenever I saw a young girl. I was afraid to look at them I think, because I would have had to confront the fact that I am attracted to prepubescent girls. I had gotten used to doing this, but one day a MAP friend I had been talking to online recommended I try looking at a girl. He reassured me that simply looking and even having sexual thoughts wasn’t immoral, which really helped encourage me to actually look at a young girl in real life. At this point I more or less knew I was a map, but making an effort to actually look at a girl was what I needed to confirm it in a way that I couldn’t deny.

I’d love to hear about others’ experiences with accepting that they’re a MAP!

  • Matt Walsh
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    511 months ago

    Not really in denial, but there was a period of uncertainty and self-doubt. It didn’t take long for me to conclude that I was indeed a MAP, though I still had the mentality that I would seek professional help to not “hurt” children.

    As I got older and became more comfortable with being bi, I also became more comfortable with being a MAP.